_Tales of Father Brown_
 by The Gillroyd Parade

I was woken up at 5am
There'd been a fire at the museum
The man said "The SI unit's burning down!"

He said "We're distributing all the gear,
The prototypes of yesteryear,
You've been allocated the air mile."

I said "Thanks but I've only a little room,
My books fill half of that and soon
I'm planning to get some DVDs."

He said "Don't worry it comes in a tube,
It folds down real small and smooth."
So that all I could do was nod and smile

Well it folded down small just like he said
I popped it beneath my bed
And I dreamt of flying every night.

The night I dreamed of falling home
Of suffocating all alone,
I knew that something wasn't right.

Chorus:
And I said:
"give back my simple life
When my girl and I read
tales of Father Brown."

And I said:
"O don't raise your hopes so high
Cos I fear I'll only let them down."

Well I checked my bed, the tube was there
But there was something funny about the air
And I realised that the mile was gone.

I checked the logs on my CCTV
To see who'd been there other than me
The only other soul was my girlfriend.

I confronted her. I thought she'd weep,
Say she'd done it in her sleep,
Lead me to it and say "Let's just forget"

She confessed the theft but said she'd set it free
So it could live in company
Of country miles and milestones in Mile End.

Chorus

Well I chased her down there as you'd expect,
I flew which in retrospect
Was where I made my great mistake

The captain said we'd have to abort
Without the air mile we'd landed short
And turned Pall Mall to pancake

Chorus + Break

Pretty soon things got pretty wild
Everyone wanted rid of their air miles
But there weren't enough real ones to go around

Still that was pretty much small beer
To when she freed the light year
And we were plunged in darkness all year round.

Chorus




Chords
------

Verses:
D
I was woken up at 5am
        G
There'd been a fire at the museum
    D                               A
The man said "The SI unit's burning down!"


Chorus:
A
And I said:
 Bm
"Give me back my simple life
        G               A               D
When my girl and I read Tales of Father Brown."

D
And I said:
 Bm
"O don't raise your hopes so high
G                   A             D
Becasue I fear I'll only let them down."