_Kazoo Man_
 by The Gillroyd Parade (sorta, kinda, not really)

Well, I quit my job down at the car wash
Left my mama a goodbye note,
By sundown Id left wandsworth,
With my kazoo under my coat,
I hitchhiked all the way up to Stevenage,
Got a room at the ymca,
For the next three weeks I went huntin them nights,
Just lookin for a place to play,
Well, I thought my buzzin would set em on fire,
But nobody wanted to hire a kazoo man.

Well, I nearly bout starved to death down in stevenage,
I run outta money and luck,
So I bought me a ride up to retford,
On a overloaded poultry truck,
I thumbed on up to leeds west yorkshire,
Started buzzin out some o them all night dos,
Hopin I could make myself a dollar,
Makin music on my kazoo,
I got the same old story at them all night piers,
There aint no room around here for a kazoo man

(We dont need a kazoo man, son)

So I slept in the hobo jungles,
Roamed a thousand miles of track,
Till I found myself in morely,
At a club they call big jacks,
A little three-piece band was jammin,
So I took my kazoo and I sat in,
I showed em what a band would sound like,
With a swingin little kazoo man.

(Show em, son!)

If you ever take a trip down to west yorkshire,
Find yourself down around morely,
Make it on out to a club called jacks,
If you got a little time that's free,
Just follow that crowd of people,
Youll wind up out on his dance floor,
Diggin the finest little three-piece group,
Up and down the breadth of yorkshire,
Guess whos leadin that three-piece band,
Well, wouldnt ya know, its that swingin little kazoo man.